Since Christmas is fast approaching, we’ll cover the 7 remaining holiday stress busters in one swoop, giving you everything you need to make your holidays more peaceful, merry, love-filled and bright.

Here’s a quick review of the first three Keys to Joyous, Stress-less Holidays:

Key 1: Recognize Stress Before It Gets To You. Know your personal signs that you’re reaching your stress threshold, and take action! Breathe, laugh, and ask: What else is possible?

Key 2: Release the “Guilty Cousins”. Don’t let shame, blame and guilt steal your joy. Let go of obligation. Replace “I should…” with “I want…”

Key 3: Flip the Script. Use your imagination to attract to you what you want rather than what you don’t want to experience this holiday season.

Now, the remaining 7 Keys:

Key 4:  Get Organized

Nothing can kill your joy more than wasting time, energy and money over lost, misplaced or unavailable things! When you can’t find your keys, or forget something and have to go back to the store, it’s easy to feel stressed and overwhelmed. Here’s a few tips to stay on top of it all:

1. Make a list (yes, and check it twice). List all the folks you’re providing gifts & cards for, with suggestions for what they want (hint: ask them). Check them off when done. List everything you need to buy for your holiday meals and entertainment, get them in one trip to the store. Make your to-do lists, and go over them daily. Use your phone to record, or call yourself and leave a message on important “forget-me-nots”.

2. Think ahead. Mentally go through your day, your events, family gatherings, etc. What do you need to do to be successful? Write it down, and feel the relief of not trying to keep it all in your head.

Key 5:  Just Say No (Thank You)

In my experience, this is often the hardest. We have all kinds of reasons why we have to say yes to people when we really don’t want to or it’s not in our best interest to do something. (Remember our guilty cousins?). Here’s a great way to say no:
1. Start with acknowledgment. “Thank you so much for asking me”
2. Say No to the request, not to the person. If it’s true for you, say something like, I’d love the idea of helping you out, and I’m not available this time. Don’t lie to avoid the discomfort of saying no, but also don’t go into long excuses.
3. Be in partnership for their yes. This is probably the most important step most people ignore. Again, look for possibility: Can you do it at a different time? Can you help them brainstorm  who else might help them, or a different way they can get what they want? Even if you don’t come to a perfect solution, most people will feel grateful you offered to help, and feel that you care.

Key 6:  Include Yourself in the Equation.

It’s so easy to get lost in everyone’s needs, you have to consciously put yourself on the agenda.
1. Buy yourself something you love. It doesn’t have to be expensive, just something that makes you smile when you see or touch it.
2. Take time for yourself. Take a bubble bath or sit in the jaccuzzi, get up a few minutes early to meditate, sit by your fireplace after everyone else has gone to bed, or steal a few minutes sitting in your car listening to beautiful music before you head into the store.
3. Remember, You Matter! There’s no rule that says you have to give yourself away in order for everyone else to be happy.

Key 7:  Creatively Curb Your Spending (While being even more generous)

Don’t stress your wallet, credit card or bank account this holiday season…
1. Start with a budget. (If you feel like “Budget” is a dirty word, think spending plan). Remember your list? Estimate the maximum you’ll spend on each person, for food, eating out, entertaining, etc., and write it down, add it up, then adjust it to what you realistically can afford.
2. Think outside the gift box. Get creative in many ways to bring joy without excessive spending. Give gifts of service (back rubs, massages, house cleaning, baby sitting, your professional talent or skill), and gifts that can be delivered later (lunch, dinner, a movie date in January or February), or gifts you make (your favorite cake, pie, cookies, dish, or candles, arts & crafts, poetry). Try the $1 store, Good Will, consignment shop for unusual and amazing values.  Skip the shopping, and give a movie gift card, an iTunes card, or  gift certificate to their favorite store.

Key 8:  Share the joy (and the responsibility)

Let other people have the joy and privilege of creating the holiday cheer with you.
1. Make a list of all the things that you usually do for the holidays
2. Then ask, does each one have to be done this year?
3. If yes, who can I invite to do it for or with me? (Think past where you normally stop, get creative with the “who” and don’t settle for “I’m the only one”.
4. Ask people to brainstorm with you, (remember “What else is possible”?). Ask, how can we make this happen?

Key 9:  Take a pause for the cause.

Remember the reason for the season? Joy, peace, harmony, connection, love…
1. Stop and take a break, put your feet up, celebrate what you’ve accomplished (and let go of what you didn’t).
2.Be gentle with yourself. Especially if you’re still grieving the loss of a loved one, the separation from family or friends, changes in your personal, work or financial situation.  Give yourself a break from any judgment (your own or otherd)about how the holidays should look or feel.

Key 10:  Be Grateful.

Gratitude is like sunshine, it makes everything glow!
1. Make a quick list each evening of everything you’re grateful for that day, including all the big and little things (a smile, enough gas in your car, your spouse, children, dog or cat, your health, getting through the day in one piece!)
2. Share your gratitude generously with others. One of the greatest gifts you can give is your appreciation. Let others know how they touch your life, what they mean to you.  You will notice that the more genuinely you share your gratitude, the better you feel as well! And please extend it to store clerks, online customer service people, customers standing in line at the store… everyone could use a little extra love at this time of year, and here’s an easy, no-cost, stress free way to give it.

As we celebrate the Solstice today, with 5 days left to Christmas, 6 days to Kwanzaa, and 11 days to the New Year, may these keys unlock the joy, love, peace, harmony, balance, prosperity and love you so richly deserve.

Happy Stress-free Holidays,

Felicia