I used to think “forgiveness” was a dirty word. Something I was supposed to do – to be a good girl, a good Christian, a noble human being. “Forgive and forget”, I was told.

So, dutifully, I did my forgiveness work. I forgave others, I let go of the past, I spoke all the right words to move on. And for some reason, it never really felt good, never felt complete when I did it that way. And, quite honestly, I didn’t “forget” very well either!

And then I realized something that turned my whole idea of forgiveness around:

Forgiveness is not about letting others off the hook,
it’s about freeing yourself from the effects of the PAIN of the past.

A simple but profound concept.   It’s not about forgiving others to make them feel better or to make you a better person.

It’s about letting go of the burden that un-forgiveness causes!

Want to see for yourself how this works?

Think for a moment of someone or something you haven’t forgiven. (Maybe even yourself?). Think of specifically what happened, the pain you felt or still feel. Then look at the label you attached to it – was it betrayal, back stabbing, disloyalty, abandonment….? Now notice how your body feels as your remember – where you feel tight, bound, heavy… Notice how long ago what you recall actually happened, yet how real the feelings still are in your body today…

Your freedom lies in releasing the effects of what happened, the pain that is trapped in you until you choose to release it through forgiveness. It’s always your choice – you can choose to keep carrying the pain around, like a ball and chain, or you can let go, free up all that energy it takes to hold on to it, and use that energy for something great!

Are you willing to begin to let it go?

Here’s a quick FREEDOM THROUGH FORGIVENESS Exercise:

Now breathe into that place where you felt the tightness (for example it may be your jaw, your throat, chest or stomach). Say out loud “I forgive you, I love you”. It’s ok if resistance comes up at first (your mind may want to say it can’t be that easy!). Forgive the resistance, bring love into the space where the pain has been.

Here’s the magic that makes this so powerful:

Love and pain can’t occupy the same space, and Love is a stronger vibration!

So repeat this process as often as necessary, and remember, very often it’s YOU you most need to forgive and release from judgment. Here’s a phrase I find helpful in this process:

Forgiveness is giving up the hope of a better yesterday.
And remembering, yesterday ended last night!

Choose your freedom today by letting go of the effects of your past that are not yours to carry. And remember,

every unforgiving moment is a moment without love.

How do you prefer to spend your moments?

Please send me your comments, or email me at Felicia@DrFeliciaWilliams.com for more support on forgiveness and self love.

Be Love and Prosper,
Felicia